Dinner Plans


  It’s been a while since Emma and I shared a romantic meal. I usually have dinner on my own, seeing how she finds the act of eating redundant to say the least, but today when I came home from work there was a candlelit dinner for two waiting. It’s strange seeing the table laid out like this and my memories can’t help but wander uncomfortably towards the days before the accident, when the two of us eating together was regular fare. There’s a lot of things I miss about before, not that I’d ever tell her that – it would break her heart – and I try my best to hide my sadness.

  “Happy Valentines day, babe,” she says as she appears from the kitchen carrying another little side dish to set down. She’s wrapped up in a cute little apron and by the look on her face says she’s stoked about the surprise. The half dozen roses and rental DVD of The Notebook – a movie she’s been trying to get me to watch long since before she died – I hold in my hand suddenly seems so lame in comparison. I kind of grimace as I hold them to her, a sort of embarrassed frown. She’s pumped, though, or at least acts it convincingly enough. She runs a fresh vase of water in the kitchen to slide the roses into and adds it to the huge collection of flowers we always keep around the house as I glance over the spread. She’s talking from the kitchen about how much I’m going to enjoy the movie. I’m thinking about how much I could have potentially enjoyed the food.

  It’s looks great, smells better, and I really regret grabbing that cheeseburger on the way back from work.  I hadn’t wanted my lonesome eating to get in the way of the quiet yet romantic plans for the evening I’d originally had in store. I sit down and man up for my second meal, ready to take one for the team, when she suddenly announces after grace “Oh, by the way, watch out – I may or may not have lost a finger in there.”

~ by Joseph Blame on February 14, 2011.

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