“I thought the last Harry Potter book was weak, you know?” Death said, leaning back in the settee. “I mean for the first, like, two hundred pages they’re just sitting-“
  “Woah woah woah I haven’t read it, no spoilers,” Pestilence interrupted, going to cover his ears as he looked at his brother, waiting to see if he would continue regardless.
  “Dude,” said  War, “if you haven’t read it by now-”
  “I’m waiting for the movie, okay?”
  “I haven’t read any of them,” Famine said, coming back to the room with four beers, “or seen the movies.” His friends looked at him in shock as he handed them each a beverage. “What?”
  “You’ve never seen – or even read – a single Harry Potter?” Pestilence said, appalled.
  “Dude,” War interjected, “if you’re going to join in with the shock and awe at least give the books priority.
  “Whatever,” Death said, brushing this comment aside and standing to look Famine in the eye, “you mean to tell me you’ve somehow managed to exist for the last decade without experiencing a shred of the boy that lived?”
  “The boy that lived?” Famine replied quizzically.
  Death recoiled in mock horror, his hands to his mouth. “Say it ain’t so, bro, say it ain’t so.”
  “It’s so.”
  “Pes’,” Death says sombrely, “go get my blu-rays.”


~ by Joseph Blame on January 3, 2011.

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