Rewind. The year is 1999, Britney just rocked the world with Baby One More Time and my college sweetheart Sloane has just broken up with me because – and I quote – “that asshat sister of yours is numero uno and always fucking will be, and God knows you’re not big enough for the both of us”.

I’m spinning in my swivel chair and tossing a hackeysack in the air, wondering whether or not Sloane’s last words were an underhanded jab at my genitalia when my asshat sister comes home, slamming the door loudly in case I’m beating off.

I hear her dropping her stuff in the cupboard next door, kicking her pumps hard against the adjoining wall and then padding around to my room.

She walks in without a word, strolling past me and catching the bean bag deftly from mid air. She flops onto my bed, picking up where I left off and continuing the ritual of tossing the ball high above her face and catching it upon its descent.

“Ch’wanna watch a movie tonight, bro?” she asks absently. Her voice whips past me as I spin.

“Isn’t your buddy Dexter throwing a party tonight?” I ask, “Aren’t you going?”

“Ugh,” Libby groans, “Dex has turned all indie-pop on me. There’ll just be a load of thin hipster boys and girls with short hair.”

I laugh. “Short hair? You say that as if it’s a statement.”

Libby rolls her eyes at my ignorance. “It is. It says ‘I watch Wes Anderson movies’. It says ‘I wear awkward clothes and listen to awkward music’. Great

There’s a brief pause before Libby evidently comes up with more ammunition for her rant.

“And who the fuck wants to be one of those dancers?”


~ by Joseph Blame on August 4, 2010.

2 Responses to “Nii-san”

  1. “short hair…”
    “…Wes Anderson”


  2. Brilliant.

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