Neon Princess


I’m sitting in a shit-stained room in a shit-stained part of town. The bed beneath my naked ass is stained from the sweat of so many couples before us. It’s not cold, but I shiver.

Besides myself, us consists of some chick whose name doesn’t matter. She is currently in the shower prepping for God knows what because I can’t stop thinking what am I doing here?

I look at the pile of clothes on the floor – my clothes – and think about how long it would take to get them all back on and get the fuck out of this shit-stained state of affairs.

Say you’re waiting for a bus and you remember something you’ve left in your house, and you think can I run in, grab it and make it back in time? You end up thinking for so long that you could have run in and out three times before that goddamn bus finally comes into sight.

I’m still looking at the clothes on the floor when my goddamn bus comes into sight.

She’s dripping wet and naked. The bedroom would be pitch black if it weren’t for the light bursting around her frame from the bathroom. An angelic image for a slut of a girl.

She turns the light off.

She sort of slinks towards me. I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to get at least half a stock from the display but Junior barely moves. An imperceptible nudge in the right direction.

My tired old war veteran.

As she comes closer the neon from outside adorns her in a slightly more fitting pink glow. She wastes no time in spreading herself across the bed and spreading herself for, I can only assume, more than just my viewing pleasure.

“Fuck me” she confirms.

I have known this girl for the best part of three hours and I have already received an invitation to go balls deep.

They say first impressions are everything.

This chick’s first impressions of me must have been fucking excellent. I think to myself as I stare at the inside of whatsherface that I must have nailed the cocksure swagger when I approached her at the bar. That, or she’s giving me clearance to dock for simply buying the drinks all night.

I don’t know about you but my money’s on the latter. More ways than one.

Her name doesn’t matter, but I’ll tell you this much; it’s a pretty name for such a slut of a girl.

It doesn’t matter because you won’t hear about her again. I’m not spoiling anything by telling you that I am making a one time appearance in this woman’s life.

Plugging this girl is going to be far easier than extricating myself from this most sordid of situations. My reluctant penis begins its slow ascent.

I grimace, staring into the pink depths of my fate. No way someone this easy hasn’t got something that I don’t want.

I don’t know why I’m such a pussy, but I decide to take the plunge and make a mental note to get checked out tomorrow morning.

I take little consolation in the knowledge that all those scratchy STDs will be far from my thoughts in the instance of ejaculation.

Did you know that the point of climax – that millisecond of absolute testicle-tightening satisfaction – is the only moment a man ever feels truly at peace and free from stress? Any stream of consciousness vanishes and all that remains is happy release.

The closer you are to someone, the more you want to get away.

We masturbate to escape life. We fuck to escape each other.

I’m going to fuck this chick to escape her.

Nothing to it but to do it…

It’s not cold, but I shiver.

This extract is from my second novel, Kiss of the Womb, which I’m working on at the moment alongside everything else. Expect wholly original content tomorrow!!


~ by Joseph Blame on July 5, 2010.

2 Responses to “Neon Princess”

  1. After reading this I’m genuinely pumped about reading the finalised version of Kiss of the Womb.

  2. I knew I recognised this 🙂

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